Here's five reasons why coaching conversations are different to your day to day ones and therefore why they help you to make changes in your life.
My purpose as a coach is to totally understand you so that I can help you. Therefore, I will be fully focused on you and what you think and feel. In my attempt to understand you by asking questions to explore what you say and do, you will begin to understand yourself better. As you tell me about the thoughts and concepts that are in your head (which often sit slightly below your conscious awareness until you try to explain them out loud) you'll start to get clarity, or be better able to challenge some of those thoughts and ideas.
In no other conversation in your life will you be listened to the way a coach will listen to you. Most people only half listen, often with judgement and the intent to respond and give a solution. A coach listens with curiosity and the intent to understand.
| A coach listens by: | Believing that: |
|---|---|
| Giving unconditional positive regard | You're pretty cool just for being you |
| Being non-judgementally curious | Life is complex and open to interpretation |
| Giving space for you to speak | Silence allows you to fully explore your thoughts |
| Playing back what you've said | It's important you feel understood |
I see my job as helping to facilitate your thoughts and feelings to enable you to clarify what you want and remove the barriers that have been stopping you get it. A coach won't tell you what to do, they will help build your skills in self-awareness, self-management and self-belief to figure things out and take action yourself.
This is because the dynamics are different in a coaching relationship. It's often hard to tell the truth to others about how you feel. But being able to talk about what's really going on is so important when trying to make changes. This can be explored in a non-judgmental and safe way with a coach.
Regular meetings with a coach can help you remain focused on the changes you want to make for yourself. It's so easy to get distracted by all the things you have to do, and then take your eye off the important changes you want to make. Therefore, knowing you have a coaching session coming up can help keep you focused and on track.
